Buried Treasure

We, here in Southwest Michigan, have been consistently snow covered for the past 192 days now. (I'm not going to say that number is exact but it sounds about right:) And even more so tonight after at least 6 inches of fresh, new snow have fallen throughout the day. We did get a reprieve one day, a couple Sundays ago, when the temperatures rose high enough and the sun shined bright enough to give us a brief reminder at what lies under all the snow.

(one of the boys' favorite things to do with all this snow is pretend their "cars" are stuck and dig them out. And yes, Rach, if you are reading this, I am pretty sure this "game" was inspired completely by our fiasco trying to get up your hill:)

Anyway, as the boys played on this unusually warm day I wandered around and observed the grass-surprisingly green-peeking though. I glanced at our garden area and saw the few purposefully-forgotten carrot tops still laying green on the soil marking where the carrots are that we intend to use for our snowman creations. And other plants-like our lambs ear-peeking out, seemingly alive as ever, nearly caught me off guard as if I must think all that life and beauty is really gone forever, never to return once winter sets in. Its like how I've found myself in such awe and wonder and somewhat taken by surprise by the beauty, freshness, and faithfulness of spring the past few years when it returns. Like I thought it never would once I had come to accept winter. I love the parallel of the seasons as they relate to life...

This past week a quote that I once heard someone say (wish I could remember the details more clearly) has been playing over and over in my head..."God's got a lot of cards for you to play. You aren't going to play them all at once." There will be times when we "play certain cards" and leave others tucked away in our hand for another time. Then He will show us that it is time to pick up certain cards and play others. I know very well that there are things buried or hidden away in my heart right now that are very much a part of the person God made me to be and the purpose he has put on my life but for one reason or another they are just that at this time-seemingly buried or at least tucked away to be "played" at a later time.
Two of these things for me are adoption/advocating for orphans and missions. There are times when I am completely unable to see or feel the passion I know resides in my heart, and even more so-the heart of God- for both of these. This can, at times, cause me to feel fake, confused, or lifeless. Like I must be doing something wrong. I am sure so many factors could come into play here and I won't pretend to know why things that seems to be part of our reason and purpose in life can be "covered up" in our hearts at times or why there is not an urgency to "play that card" for a while. It is, in part, a mystery to me and I'll let remain so. I do think this could happen as a result of irresponsibility to do things that God has shown us to do. Or because we simply choose not to make them a priority and over time the urgency wanes and we begin to love other things more. But I also believe that our "snow covered passions" could be a result of God's unbelievable love and wisdom as He leads us through our days. Like God's way of whispering in our ear, "let it rest, it's not time right now, I'm doing something you can't see or understand." For instance, there are times when I have been convinced that, in the past few years of my life, if I identified as deeply with a love for orphans as I have in the past that I would carry it as an emotional burden instead of a useful, God-given passion. I was reading in my journal tonight and reminded about a time when Ryan and I were in foster parenting classes and as I sat there one day I saw, in my mind, a picture of a leaf lying on the ground. A slight wind blew and the leaf fluttered. In that moment I felt like God was showing me that my heart would be re-awakened in areas that have been still.

But anyway, until spring comes in full I'll remember what lies beneath the snow--- and in my heart. And I wonder (and would be interested to hear) about what is snow covered in yours.

Speaking of being buried, it seems that laundry inside is about as abundant as the snow outside. Only today it was such a different sight to see...

Yes, today I got to fold my first ever load of (predominantly pink) laundry for our baby girl! (Thanks to friends Amanda W, Stephanie, and Kayla for hand me downs and gifts!) Even Ryan mentioned how caught off guard he was to see pink in the lint trap:)