Ready or not...

After a very full, fun-filled day of being with family, friends and getting showered with gifts in anticipation of our little girl I am in some ways more aware than ever that our baby is coming soon. And in other ways I still feel completely unable to grasp it. It worries me a little that something that is so real and meaningful and close to me can still feel so unreal and distant. Yet, I have talked to other moms who have said the same thing and I remember feeling this way specifically before having Tyrus. Which is what prompted me to start writing tonight. Today Tyrus is three and a half. I cant wait to remind him of this in the morning because we have been talking about this but in the midst of all the busyness and excitement today, we failed to celebrate or even acknowledge his half birthday. And when I do mention it tomorrow, Ty's eyes will get bigger and his face will light up and he will surely respond with some sweet and dramatic excitement and Jayce will surely beam with pride and happiness for his brother. (Because half birthdays are a really big deal you know!)

What this means to me right now is that three and a half years from this very date I was sitting in a lazy boy in my bedroom, 39 weeks pregnant. And that night, after reading my Bible, I wrote these exact words in my journal as I thought about my coming babe and some of the things that had taken place in the recent days, "Jesus, I just want to thank you and acknowledge that I feel you have really been preparing me for Tyrus to come just as I asked You to and really felt I needed..." I went on about specific ways he had done this like the words from a friend who shared encouragement with me and house projects we had finished. Then I fell asleep and woke up in labor and just a few hours later Tyrus was in my arms. I marvel at this. I love that God readied my heart and mind and even my home in such specific ways for my second child to be born and that, literally moments after I acknowledged this in my journal, the birthing process was set in motion. And tonight I feel encouraged by remembering this, knowing that God will prepare me as I look forward to having my third baby too.