Uncovering Peace

The other day I was going about my day---starting first thing in the morning the word "namewith" flashed through my head and it continued all throughout the day. At random moments I would all the sudden have this strange word go through my mind. I had no clue what it meant and knew the only place I had ever seen it was on a friend's blog though I couldn't remember the meaning or significance. I kept getting more and more curious and convinced God must have something to tell me as it kept happening. So I got on my friend's blog the first chance I got. I tell you what, the second I did I felt the presence of God come to me in such a special way---and I really needed it. Anyway, I sought the definition of "hamewith" which struck me immediately-it is a Scottish word meaning "to be at home there, a place of peace." I knew immediately that the key word for me was PEACE. I haven't had much lately. I then read an entry about a house project in which my friend drew an analogy for life and referred to another word that struck me-"reclamation." Reclamation means "restoration, as to productivity, usefulness or morality"--- to make useful again. I know there are parts of me that need this desperately. There are parts of me that I know God longs to make useful again--that I long for Him to make useful again. Then, I listened to the song she had posted. I cried as God met me and infused me with hope and confidence to trust Him.

You are probably thinking, "What the heck is going on in your world right now?" Not much. (which is part of the problem:I love-I think we all love- to be connected to things that are beyond our "little world", bigger than us, things with great purpose. But I'll save that for another post:) However, our schedule---full-time home daycare for me, full-time (2nd shift) work and school for Ry--- has been wearing on me and I have not been walking in consistent peace or any kind of victory in my attitude. To put it more plainly--I get cranky, frustrated, even angry, way too easily and I am sick of it. This is not how I am typically and it is not fun-for me or anyone. So, nothing horrible is going on but that is what makes my inability to "kick" the bad attitude even more frustrating--- Ive totally known Gods strength and peace and redemption in the midst of way more difficult things in life so this seems like it should be an easier thing to get a grip and let Him help me but so far, I keep struggling. Anyway--back to reading my friend's blog--all the things I read really met me that day. And Ive been pondering it all knowing it was the start of something...

Today I was working on a house project of my own and you'll never believe what I uncovered. I was removing landscape rocks to clear the way for new landscape and mulch---a project I have to do one section at a time and will probably be working on until we move from here I am sure. Anyway, today as I was methodically removing the river rock and having some therapeutic, alone thinking time, I found a metal tag. I recognized it as a plant tag for a rose and when I turned it over I saw the name of the specific rose...drum roll please... "Peace." WOW. Sometimes I admittedly over analyze things but seriously, this was amazing to me-especially after just having had the whole thing transpire on Friday that led me to my friend's blog and the definition for "hamewith." So, though there is nothing growing there now, there is evidence that "peace" used to be planted here, at my house ...and I know that peace used to be planted in me too---time for more uncovering:)